japo will probably freak out if he reads this but what the heck.. he rarely goes online. =p

anyway, so japo and i have been together for more than three years.. and the past few months felt – so right. we’re practically living together! everything just fell in place. first in pieces, then in chunks.. then everything just made a lovely picture of everything that i have ever wanted. and i am happier than i ever was. =)

and i guess it showed/shows. since everybody seems to be “asking” when japo and i will get married. *blinks*

first it was just gracelle.. we talked about wedding plans. the motif. the location. the clothes. the guests. at the time, she asked me not to get married anytime soon if i don’t wanna have a bawling maid of honor. but lately, her Christmas wishlist had my soon-to-be wedding as an item. so i guess i do not have to worry about puffy maid-of-honor-eyes on “the” day. hahahaha!

then anna and jaena, who both asked to have invitations WAY in advance so that they can plan their coming back to the country to attend the “occassion.”

then mom and dad constantly reminding me that they got married when they were 24. and that they had me when they were 26. and that they don’t want me to be like my aunts who married in their 30s. and them asking where japo is everytime i go home and/or there is some sort of event. and them not reacting violently when i joked that the reason i’m gaining weight is because i’m pregnant. @@

and then there are my sisters.. faye was always fascinated by babies. and last Christmas, she wanted me to have one so that “we can have one of our own”. i’m not sure where 9 year olds learn to think that way. the other sister – jonas, while having dinner last night, blurted out that she wants a nephew. said that she wants to be an aunt really soon.

i mean, okay.. so i do not have anything against the thought. i LOVE it that people think that. and besides, japo has nothing against it too – most of the time. *rolls eyes* so why am i ranting?

well, i do want to get married. to japo. sometime next year (hehe). but japo’s like, “it’s only a year and some months na lang pala.” and then i pretended i was not freaked out because he was. but after that i came to thinking that it’s less than 2 years. and i will be a Mrs., and i do not know anything about married life. i am unable to spend time with my married friends to get tips because they are – married. gahd. i don’t wanna be “married” married.

and although i will kill for a baby of my own who i can shop with at the mall for little baby clothes and stuff, i cannot have one just yet. because! i can only have one when i already have the backyard that he will crawl/run around on. and a room for the things that we’re gonna buy for him. or her.

so there. conclusion: I AM not ready yet, even though i really, really, really want to say “I DO.” and i am hoping so hard that by the time my dream wedding date comes around, i will be.. just so that i do not mess it all up. *sigh*